True story

LaNaya Schmoker


“I cannot and will not pretend this site offers a cure for anyone who has suffered after surviving a traumatic event. It doesn’t. What we are about to begin together is not easy; it is not for everyone.”

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk on


We are mother, daughters and sisters.

     We share the same D.N.A. the same chromosomes and genes but legally the state kidnapped my children. Not only mine, but this is happening every day. Every two minutes a child is being taken to their home, and families split up. This will help you understand the process.

        Often, the system’s case load is full of addicts. That then turns into a bigger addiction crisis.  That then turns into a bigger addiction crisis. If anyone knows anything about addiction, “it’s a bondage to a substance for a feeling of a missing void for short-term feeling” because it’s easier for them to take care of others than themselves.  I’m speaking for myself about my personal experience and the way I personally feel. I feel like I’ve had countless conversations with other addicts about this matter. I feel like it’s an adequate way to sum up addiction.) This scenario can become one where addiction only gets worse.

      The child welfare system in this country causes mothers to grieve for their losses. The emotional and mental trauma that occurs when a mother is forcibly separated from her children at the time of relinquishment has been shown to be deeply traumatic. It can also lead to long-term grieving over the loss of one’s child, which includes having to deal with unresolved grief and sorrow years after, the separation which took place. Leaving lingering effects and an enormous impact on self-image, mental and physical, and not to mention a generational effect causing family bonding trauma. It is a never-ending process, in turn, you must find other ways to fill the void. When left with that emptiness feeling when the separation occurs with their child is taken away.

   The answer here is to end closed adoption, have open contact with adoptees, birth parents and biological families. Avoiding a problem adoption isn’t the fix to the problem.  This often isn’t a successful conclusion to their stories.

The article discussed the loss of mothers currently grieving, and the loss of their children to the child welfare system. The article suggests that open adoption is the solution to the loss of children. This is the importance of family ties and their bonds, to ensure parents and adoptees a sense of belonging and a new journey to move forward.


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